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Coffee & Conversations - Your Communication Superpower -- *Listening*

Updated: Mar 8

Welcome to the December edition of Coffee & Conversations. Thank you for joining us for what I promise will be a most illuminating conversation with one of my heroes - Katie Lance.

Most of you know that “active listening” is my mission – to raise awareness of the power of taking the time to pay attention in a conversation, to sit back and receive what the speaker is expressing without interrupting, without finishing sentences for them, without hijacking the conversation altogether. This is a thing.

There’s a new movie out, “Ticket to Paradise”, a rom-com starring Julia Roberts and Geroge Clooney as divorced parents with a contentious relationship. At one point in the middle of a heated exchange Julia has a great line: “Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”. That sums it up pretty well.

I have often thought about how this translates to the online world. How do we ensure that our conversations on social media are the best they can be? Who better to ask than the social media guru herself, Katie Lance.

I first got to know Katie on stage at Inman and was impressed with both her message and her delivery. I devoured her book, #getsocialsmart as I know many of you did. It was a game-changer, expanding our understanding of the potential of social media and how to harness it for our business and our personal lives. Eventually I invited Katie to come down to LA and meet with my staff for a day – exploring what our social strategy should look like and how to implement it. A day with Katie was a revelation and I have been a fangirl ever since.

  1. In 2017 your book #GetSocialSmart was released providing a coherent, understandable, “nuts and bolts” strategy for doing social right. That was 5 years ago, an eternity in “internet” years and yet the principles you laid out are as relevant today as they were then. You wrote “Social media is a communications tool - another way to share information. And then you wrote something that really intrigued me – “Think of it as a dinner party not a one-way street.” Wow. Love that. Tell us what you meant by that and why it is so important.

  2. In her book We Need To Talk, (which also came out in 2017) Celeste Headlee talks about the difference between communication and conversation. She quotes William Whyte: “The great enemy of communication, we find, is the illusion of it. We have talked enough; but we have not listened.” What does it mean to “listen” on social?

  3. Another concept you come back to again and again is the point that social media is, well, social. The line between the professional you and the personal you is forever blurred the moment you become active on a social media platform. What advice do you have for balancing the two? Where is the line between authenticity and TMI?

  4. Let’s talk about social media as an “us” not an “I”. We all know people who are never on FB except when they go to a great restaurant or a cool concert. Other than random posts about them, they are like “crickets”. And somehow this doesn't sit well with me. I think you need to earn your way into personal posts by being an active member of the community. And for me that means less posting and more commenting. More acknowledging. More supporting what others are doing. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – is commenting the way we “listen” on social media? What post to comment ratio do you recommend?

  5. Finally, I recently encountered an interesting take on something called the “Persuasion Paradox”. The gist of it was that the most persuasive people don’t argue - they observe and ask questions. Cathay Scharetg has challenged us all to be “better askers' ' and I'm wondering if the idea of asking questions to engage on social media is something we should all be doing more of. What else would you recommend to improve the quality and effectiveness of our online interactions?

Rapid Fire Questions

  1. What is your favorite word? Your least favorite word?

  2. What turns you on? What turns you off?

  3. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

  4. What is one memory that will stand out for you from the “pandemic years” ?

  5. If you could go back and give yourself one piece of advice before starting your career, what would it be?

  6. Biggest regret?

  7. Do you have a morning routine that sets you up for a good day? What does it look like and how easy or hard is it to stay committed to it?

  8. Tell us about a person who has had a meaningful impact on you and why?

  9. What do you wish for your children’s future?

  10. IIf Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Join us for our wisdom-packed conversations in our WomanUP! Weekly LIVE show over on our FB Group:

Watch replays of past chats here:


Learn more about:

Katie Lance

Katie is the CEO and Co-Founder of Katie Lance Consulting. Katie is a nationally known keynote speaker at conferences and events. For the past 10 years Katie has been working with agents and brokers to help them get smarter about how to use social media to grow their business. Her specialty is in helping real estate agents and brokers achieve big results using social media WITHOUT spending a ton of time! She is also the author of the best-selling book, #GetSocialSmart and the founder of the #GetSocialSmart Academy. Katie has been named one of the most 100 influential people in real estate by Inman News and is a frequent contributor to The Huffington Post. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and 2 beautiful boys.

Follow Katie Lance on Youtube

Connect with Katie on LinkedIn


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